She loves the Replacements

Today I got a call from a long-lost friend. I haven't seen her in years. After catching up, I asked her, "So, are you still the Jewess?"

As a kid, I went with her to her Synagogue at least three times. At her brother's Bar Mitzvah, my little thirteen-year old friend gave a rousing and emphatic speech about the need to protect the Zionist state that caused the entire audience to stand up to clap. For Israel's 50th birthday, she made "Happy Birthday Israel!" shirts and forced me to wear one. Yeah, she is the Jewess.

"Don't you believe in change?" she asked me, "I don't expect you to be the same person that I used to know. I sure hope that you've grown up a little bit. No. I'm not that religious anymore," she said.

After I apologized, she said, "And can I please have my Star of David pendant back?"