Tuesday, April 1, 2008

You'll toss around and call my name

I had dinner with my friend Lips last night.  As avid readers of my many horrible blogs may recall, I was set up on a blind date with Lips a few years ago and although she was repulsed by the idea of kissing me, we became good friends. 
 
Her new boyfriend is recently divorced, but "it was totally his ex-wife's fault because she cheated on him and then she left him."  I explained to Lips that if her dating pool is going to incorporate divorced men, she should remember that divorces are not always what they seem.
 
"Divorces are like car accidents," I explained.   "It's always the other idiot who ran the stop sign or cheated.  It's never the idiot's fault that you happen to be having a drink with." 
 
"Of course," I continued, "I would never marry a divorced person because I don't want to be anyone's second husband.  It's because I was the second child."