Cash rules everything around me, cream

As I was cutting up the raspberry pies I made yesterday, my cousin's five-year-old son asked me what he should call me since I'm not really his uncle.

I said, "You can call me anything you want."

He seemed excited by this as I served him his piece of pie. "Really?"

I assured him that anything would be ok. He thought about it and said, "How about meatball head?" I said that would be fine and whenever he screamed "Meatball head" I would come running. Sadly, this is the coolest nickname I've ever had.

He poked at the pie I served him and said, "Meatball head, I don't like this pie. Can I just have whipped cream?" So I gave him a pile of whipped cream to eat. And that is why meatball head is the coolest.