My wife and I spent some time on the weekend visiting our families.
These are actual quotes that I collected from members of her family:
"You don't understand, the partners at my firm actually lost money this year."
"That supporting bar [in the couch] is steel. You can't drill through steel."
"Michael Phelps would be twice as fast if he was swimming on the beach because the salt water makes you buoyant."
I was giggling to myself at the insanity of my wife's family when we visited my family and my cousin said, without any prompting, "I saw that movie 'Condemned' the other day. I'll tell you, Stone Cold Steve Austin needs to make more movies."