Let's play a game

Unlikely: The fact that I haven't seen a Big Dogs t-shirt in years proves that I've moved high on up the social strata.
Likely: The company went out of business.

Unlikely: Every morning at two am, the area outside my bedroom window transforms into a lunchtime hangout for bubbly middle school girls.
Likely: The girlfriends of my fratboy neighbors are out smoking.

Unlikely: The intense sensitivity in my upper right-hand jaw, which began AFTER I had a cavity filled, is purely imaginary.
Likely: Someone fucked up, and I am going to pay for it.