Yesterday was one of those rare days when both the Yankees and the Mets were playing at home, so the wife and I took the day off to see the Mets at 1 and the Yankees at 7.
I have a history of animosity with Shea stadium (e.g., being leaked on from the tier above, being told that the vendors ran out of mustard, and even being told on "fan appreciation day" that the stadium ran out of hot dogs) but I thought that it would be fun to see it one last time before they tear it down at the end of this year.
I definitely got the full Shea experience. The game started an hour late because of "plumbing problems" in the stadium. When I went to get a soda, I was told that none of the soda fountains were working because of plumbing problems. When I noticed a total lack of beer vendors, I was told that they were unable to make enough ice to carry the beer around. Two girls with huge hoop earrings were sitting in our seats. When the game finally started, the Mets fans booed the Pirates but booed the Mets twice as hard. At the end of three innings, the Mets were losing 7-0 and the fans were irate. A lot of foul language was being hurled toward the field, so I said to the wife, "Let's go have a cigarette."
We went to the ramp outside the top tier, where I have had a cigarette every year for the past seven years. An usher came by, took our tickets, and told us that we were being ejected. He explained that they have a new zero-tolerance policy and all smokers are ejected. I tried to plead my case to him in a civilized manner (I hadn't started drinking yet) but I was wearing a Yankees hat so the case was pretty much closed. As we rode the elevator down, he said that if we tried to buy tickets and re-enter the stadium we would be banned from Shea forever. I said, "Yeah, that's a real punishment." Surprisingly, this really hurt his feelings.
And so ends my relationship with Shea. If they need someone to push the button to implode it, I'm available. Especially if the stadium staff, fans, and team are all inside when it happens.
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