Poor man, good man, understand

Someone tried to break into my apartment while I was away for the weekend, so Boyfriend got me some pepper spray.

I was unenthusiastic about it until he told me that it also sprays ink that can be seen under blacklight. I began thinking about my measly history as a failed graffiti artist, about symbols or signs that I might spray on my attacker-- so that when he's found by cops he'll have a big penis on his forehead, or a question mark. They'll know that not only is he an attacker, but he was my attacker.

Now it's Boyfriend who is unenthusiastic.