I'm the king of NY

Last night while grading tests, I noticed that a ridiculously large percentage of students were getting the same three problems correct-- problems specifically designed to weed out the As from the Bs. Immediately suspecting cheating, I set out to uncover an internal ring of dishonesty.

I grouped the students into two sections: Students smart enough to get the problems right, and did, and students who shouldn't have solved it, but did. Working on the assumption that smart lonely kids will do anything for friendship, I cross-checked their social groups with their answers for similarities in mistakes and style.

Ultimately, I lacked sufficient evidence to seriously propose an underground cheating ring. I put down my case.

And so ended yet another day in the life of The Most Pitiful Teacher in the World, Private Eye.