Everyone's out to get you, motherfucker

Last night, I had frozen yogurt with an acquaintance of mine, who could have been a professional soccer player, if you get my drift, and I learned some things about her:

1. She wants to be a competitive body builder. I asked her, “So you’re going to be one of those chicks who wears a bikini and high heels and flexes for large audiences??” And she replied, “HOPEFULLY!” and then crossed her fingers, on both hands.

2. She is a virgin. I asked her how she manages the task of staying a virgin, and she replied, “I… I have to keep myself out of certain positions.” When I suggested “doggy-style”, she seemed offended, but blushed knowingly.