Last night in the supermarket the wife said, "Oh, I have to go by the candy aisle. I need to buy caramels for a recipe."
I threw a fit. I said, "Caramels? Those shitty, slimy little caramels? Have I taught you nothing? Can you not MAKE caramel? Is the recipe with one ingredient too complicated for you? How about ice, can you make that or should we buy some? What's wrong with the caramel I make at home, it doesn't have enough chemicals or preservatives for you? My caramel isn't processed enough for you?"
Then I went to the next aisle and picked up a large box of Cheez-Its.
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