Bad luck

Last night I was thinking about Highlights for Children, that elementary-school educational magazine that had coloring and word matching. It had this section called "Goofus and Gallant," which was kind of like a comic strip that featured twin brothers, Goofus and Gallant. In the first block of the strip, some accident would happen, and in the second strip, Goofus and Gallant had to right the wrong. Of course, Goofus always fucked it up more, whereas Gallant always did the right thing.

For years after elementary school, I would think sometimes about how ridiculous it is to name your kid Gallant. "What kind of a fucking egomaniac does it take," I thought, "to presuppose he'll have a kid who'll be noble and righteous?"

I realized last night that I never, ever thought calling your kid "Goofus" was weird.

Thanks, Dad.