Take that do-rag off

I suffer from eczema. It's pretty bad-- itchy, red blotches that look contagious; surely the people who have to look at me suffer more from my condition than I do. Most fellow sufferers have figured out a way to not scratch it; I have not.

I don't want to work on self-discipline or anything like that. Instead I try everything my dermatologist has not prescribed.

"Boyfriend, check out what I bought! Na-PCA: The Natural Moisturizing Factor in Human Skin! Now you don't have to rub lotion on my back. I can just spray! It's even non-toxic!" I sprayed it in my mouth.

Boyfriend took the bottle and looked at it dubiously. "I can't believe you bought this. I can never merge bank accounts with you," he said, then shook his head.

"Don't forget that I provide the vagina in this relationship," I said, then sashayed away.

Let me count the outcome of my really rhetorical response:
1: I established my almighty leverage (thanks, vag!)
2: You can't argue with (1)
3: I get all his money.