I bought one of those elastic armbands for my iPod so I can wear my
iPod at the gym like a complete tool.
But the problem is that my biceps are so incredibly huge that I'm
afraid to do curls while wearing the armband. I'm pretty sure the
elastic will tear under the pressure of my enormous muscles and will
shoot across the gym, injuring someone like that incredibly hot
redhead who uses both the elliptical machine and the treadmill every
day to make sure that everyone in the gym can get a great look at her
almost completely exposed breasts for at least a few minutes. And
then I would have to rush to her aid, and I'm MARRIED now, people.
Maybe I will just spend ten minutes in the gym every day futilely
trying to stretch that armband around my rock-solid arms as if to say,
"One size does NOT fit all. Clearly, muscles of this size are not
common."
Maybe I should stop drinking in the morning.
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