In the Name of Science

Today I woke up with a rash all over my body. I think it's because instead of going out and buying laundry detergent I have been using liquid fabric softener. It smells like bananas. And I didn't even buy the stuff, so I win twice. For the past month I've been rubbing my palm into the clothes as I pulled them from the dryer, noting their increased oiliness.

I think this means I have to go buy laundry detergent.

But there must be some other way...