I go through my mail while standing over the trash can. Almost all of
my mail is from people who want my money and who have heard that I
spend money like a monkey on ecstasy.
I got my certificate of marriage in the mail over the weekend and I
thought, "Huh, look at that: I'm married." Then I dropped it in the
trash.
This morning I woke up and realized that maybe I shouldn't have thrown
that out. So I went outside, jumped in the dumpster, and found it.
I also found a pretty nice lamp.
Once I got the certificate back in the apartment I left it on the
kitchen counter. After I got out of the shower, I absentmindedly
thought it looked like junk mail and almost threw it out again. From
now on, the wife is in charge of important documents.
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