I'm not dirty, it just sounds bad.

I had an important business meeting in LA yesterday so I had to skip school. My boss has this upbeat pro-woman aesthetic so I told her I had an STD that needed to be checked out.

Unfortunately I fell asleep on the beach which left half my fucking face sunburned. As I signed in at the front desk today and gave my boss the knowing woman's look, some sand fell out of my hair.

I am so busted. But, more importantly, what am I going to do when I really do have an STD?