I received a letter back in July from the New Jersey State Bar that
commanded me to show up on August 9 and defend some poor people
accused of domestic violence charges. When you're admitted to the
bar in New Jersey, you get these assignments once in a while.
You know how cops say that you are entitled to a lawyer? Yeah, in New
Jersey you're entitled to a patent lawyer who has argued zero times in
state court and knows nothing about criminal law.
When I showed up, I only had one unlucky client that day. He had
violated a restraining order which commanded him that he was not
allowed to see his son. The judge transferred the matter to another
court, set a hearing date for September 20, and asked me if I had
anything to say.
I asked for a reduction in the $3,000 bail. The judge read my
client's rap sheet (buying and dealing drugs, armed robbery, assault)
and denied it.
After the judge hit his gavel, my client resigned himself to sitting
in jail until his next hearing. The prosecutor told me that he would
probably get time served and get out on Sept. 20th.
Since August 9, he has been sitting in jail because he couldn't raise
$3,000. Since August 9, I have gotten married, spent 2 weeks in
Hawaii, filed 3 patent applications at work, started a blog, and baked
some really great cookies.
So kids, don't do drugs. Because one day you'll need that money in
case you are ever arrested so that you don't end up being defended by
a patent lawyer.
Or for bail.
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