I've actually forgotten to blog three times in the past month. That's a sign that I need to stop blogging.
There's also the most obvious sign, which is that my blogging has sucked balls lately. Not huge moose balls, but something bigger than squirrel balls. At least groundhog balls.
It's not a mystery as to why my blogging sucks. There are two big reasons:
1. I love my new job. It's no fun to write about loving a job. I fucking hate people who love their job and I want to strangle them, not read about them. Whenever I hear someone say, "Yeah, you HAVE to love your job" I want to stab them with a dirty fork. Those fucking assholes should suck my balls. Which I think are bigger than squirrel balls.
2. I've aged and I no longer have any fire in me.
I used to think that Rachel Ray was a fucking barrel-shaped shitbag who encouraged mediocrity. Now I think that she has her own style of cooking and if some people like it, then I'm glad that she makes them happy. I'm happy for her.
I used to think that the guineas on Staten Island should be bathed of their cologne and shot in front of their only true loves: their mothers. But now I think that they're just from a different culture than I am and if techno music and hair product makes them happy, that's fine with me. I'm happy for them.
I used to think that lawyers were scum-sucking pieces of shit who should suffer slow painful deaths and be tortured for all eternity. Well, I still think that. Fuck them.
I'm going to take some time off. I'm sure I'll hate this job soon enough. Drop me a line if you ever get arrested in New Jersey. It happens to the best of us.