Me: You need to start throwing away your fucking Crystal Light wrappers. Every day, there is one on the counter and every day I have to throw it out. It's driving me fucking insane. Today I had to reach under the microwave to get one, and I cut open my hand and bled all over the kitchen. If I see any more of them, I'm going to light the entire apartment on fire.
Wife: Oh my God, did you get any blood in my dinner?