Last night my younger brother and I went to Six Flags in New Jersey to check out the new indoor "coaster" called "The Dark Knight."
Before the ride starts, the first 50 or so people are brought into a room to watch a movie. The movie is the new district attorney of Gotham city talking about cracking down on crime. The transmission is then interrupted and it becomes unintelligible nonsense while the room goes dark and the words "HA HA!" appear in different colors on the walls. Then you are brought into the Gotham subway station to board the "coaster."
Each car seats four people and rides independently like a mining cart. As soon as you get in, your car enters darkness and climbs a hill. Then the cart makes a sharp right turn! Then a sharp left turn! Then another sharp turn! As you go around these turns, you see lit scenes of crime in Gotham City and the sound of gunshots. Then more sharp turns! When you go down little hills, it's barely noticeable.
One minute into the ride, my brother had the same sense of dread as I. He said, "This had better not be what the whole ride is like."
Here is my review:
The "coaster" is slower than the train around Santa at the mall.
90 degree turns are not thrilling.
What the fuck was that setup movie for when the "coaster" had no storyline at all?
Overall, the ride was like that creepy neighbor I had that spent a month setting up a haunted house for Halloween. Everyone got excited about it, but it turned out to be an excuse to molest neighborhood kids.
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