Can you hoes come out to play now

The wife said she was going to a "cookie exchange" over the weekend to meet with a bunch of women, exchange homemade cookies, and talk about how great I am in bed or whatever it is that women discuss.

I thought it was an elaborate excuse to meet her boyfriend on the weekend, but then she came home with a bunch of shitty cookies!

After sampling some of the cookies, I have some tips for people who plan on attending a "cookie exchange:"

1. Werther's candies are delicious but do not belong in cookies. There are different flavors of chips that are made for baking. Look into them.

2. Presenting burned cookies says to the world, "I cannot handle the simplest baking task on the planet nor do I care to try again." I would be less embarassed for you if you had run down the street yelling "I HAVE GENITAL WARTS!"

3. Chow mein noodles coated with chocolate are not cookies.

4. Shredded coconut that you buy in bags in the supermarket does not belong in cookies. It tastes like pubic hair.

5. If you can't do better than Chips Ahoy, just buy a bag and hand them out.