Last night the printer outside my office ran out of toner. I went to the supply room, grabbed a new toner, and brought it back to the printer to change it. The managing partner came over and suspiciously asked what I was doing with the big box from the supply room at 8 pm.
I was tempted to say, "Even if I were stealing this toner, it's a hundred bucks. Give me a fucking break. I know how much I make for you."
But I didn't. I just smiled and talked about how we all need to be multi-taksers and how my previous job in tech support is a "value add" to the firm.
This morning at 8 am the office manager wanted to know why I changed the toner in the printer and explained to me that attorneys are not allowed to change toners since they always mess it up and there is an inventory count. He wanted to know how I knew which toner to put into the printer and whether I was sure I used the right one.
Tonight I'm stealing every toner in the entire fucking firm. If you need a toner for an HP Printer the size of a Mini Cooper, call me.
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