Friday, September 14, 2007

I touch the right spot at the right time

Last night I was invited to an extended family dinner at my in-laws' house. As usual, I was in the kitchen bragging about my culinary prowess and offering my help.  As usual, I was given a task that would get me out of the kitchen.

"Go downstairs and pick out a few bottles of wine," said my mother-in-law.

There were many, many bottles of wine to choose from which, of course, was the purpose of the task. Since a family friend owns a liquor store, the basement is full of fine wines and some eccentric selections that were gifts from previous gatherings.

I brought my selections to the dinner table: a rose, a white, and a bottle of peach-flavored wine that I found in the back somewhere. I pretended not to notice the quizzical glances and raised eyebrows as I added ice to my peach wine and remarked that it was very easy to drink.

I then proceeded to get stinking drunk and explain to my new extended family that I am unable to quickly press the correct sequence of buttons in a PS2 game I am currently playing (God of War) to successful bring my character to climax with two prostitutes.